Society is always trying to make everyone the same and well we are all the same in our differences. We are indifferent because we all wake up every morning trying to be as unique and different from the next person we walk past.

It becomes hard to define the qualities of a “real man” or to pick out men in society and decide that he is a real man because of 1 2 3 and 4. At the end of the day there are a couple of hundreds of women out there laying in the arms of the man that they think is a real man.

Some women will say that a real man is in touch with his emotions and others stand by the fact that her getting beaten every night makes her man a real man because he knows how to control her and his household.

I wish I could stand up and point out all the real men of today, just pick and choose from the many that we know but then again the big question would be “What makes him a real man?” and the first answer will be ‘His Qualities’. What are the qualities of a real man? What makes his qualities greater than the next mans? Is he always a real man? Or is he a real man because he has so many eyes watching him? Does he do good in public and look like a great public figure but without the suit and tie he turns out to be a young women beater?

I asked for an opinion from a man of society, quite a young fellow but his answer got me thinking.

Me: “In your opinion what are the qualities of a real man?”

“I don’t think real men exist. This is an opinion I adopted from a feminist point of view. For there to be real men there need be men that aren’t real. How would you define that? I think there are good men and bad men. The label all based on your actions. You do good. You’re a good man. You do bad. You’re a bad man.We’re all real. We all have power. We all have responsibility. We all have influence and all have ability to bring positive or negative to any situation. After saying this I don’t know how I’d give you the qualities you’re looking for…” –K.Qhu

“We’re all real. We all have power.” , basically when we cross boarders being real can be explained and defined in many ways. Every man has the power to be real. Being real can mean him not being the perfect man that you are looking for. Him being real can mean that he may come with a lot of baggage but you need to be a real woman to handle it. This then means we need real men and real women, does being real mean being perfect? If so then we’ll never have a real society, right?

There have been many changes in the roles of the sexes over the past years. As a result, the expectation of men and the standard we are held to has morphed a little. But one thing is for sure: There are certain traits that define masculinity that most men and women would still agree upon.

This isn’t a question of backwards thinking or outdated sensibilities. This is the type of stuff that points to the fundamental characteristics that most men still hold dear. Strength, reliability and action are all still core parts of what makes a man’s man. This doesn’t mean that you’re failing if you aren’t achieving some of these aspects, but rather, they’re goals to keep in mind as you forge through your quest to become better.

Any way you choose to cut the cake, men are still going to compete in all aspects of life and you need to be ready for what gets thrown your way.

A Real Man Can Defend Himself

You know what’s missing in the world today? Leaders who have had to fight their way to the top. Seriously. Look at the head of any business that’s circling the toilet bowl, and I’ll show you a boss whose parents’ power and money kept him from ever learning things the hard way.

Every successful leader has been on the wrong end of an attack, be it with words or be it with a full assault. But those future captains got up again and again, until they knew how to stand their ground, and that is when you can start to climb the ladder.

A Real Man Keeps His House In Order

Have you ever been inside the boss’s house? There are no pizza boxes sitting around, there are no undershirts on the floor, and there sure as hell won’t be any unpaid bills being used as beer coasters. No one can master his professional or personal life if he isn’t already the master of his own home.

This means that laziness or “machismo” is not an excuse to live like a bottom-feeder. Keep your sty spotless, keep your documents in order and — this is key — take pride in where you live.

A Real Man Takes Care Of His Appearance

This is a no-brainer. One of the first things that anyone is going to notice about you is your look and attention to hygiene. Gone are the days when the I-am-so-manly-I-don’t-care style worked. These days, men are measured on their style. It doesn’t have to mean a suit and tie; there’s plenty of different ways a man can dress well. But it needs to be clean, organized and demonstrative of effort. A man takes pride in his appearance.

You are not getting into the club, getting the best table at the restaurant or getting second glances from women you’re gawking at if you aren’t putting out there the fact that you invest in yourself.

A Real Man Makes His Own Fortune

A real man doesn’t settle for handouts or charity when it comes to his personal fortune. A real man isn’t satisfied with family money. He thanks Lady Luck and moves on to decide his own destiny. Any man who inherits goods from his late aunt or parents takes his inheritance and turns it into 10 times what it was.

The character that you build from doing this is essential to growing as a man in the most traditional sense. It doesn’t mean your wife or girlfriend isn’t contributing, and it doesn’t mean that you can’t be a stay-at-home father. It simply means that you are carving out your own space. You are truly independent when you do this.

A Real Man Strives To Be A Role Model

A real man respects himself and others at all times. If you begin to build a family, part of a man’s greatest responsibility is to set a solid example for his children. If you choose to let your family see you in a poor light (irresponsible or reckless, for example), you are not building yourself into the type of man they can be proud to call a father or husband. The same applies to the mom, but the man still finds himself under a different level of scrutiny based on society’s expectations of men. Set the right tone and example.

A Real Man’s Word Is His Bond

When a real man makes a promise, he keeps it. If he can’t keep a promise, he doesn’t give his word. A man would rather face severe consequences than break his word. Every man knows that his words are as powerful as his actions, and that they must be taken at face value.

A Real Man Doesn’t Gossip

Nobody should gossip. But a man trying to win respect at work or among friends in his circle will not be respected if he develops a reputation for being the group’s hotline of nonsense. The images of the strong, silent type — a la Clint Eastwood — still resonate today… because gossip is for people with nothing better to do.

A Real Man Is Focused

We’re all distracted, and the distractions keep piling up. It is easy to lose focus and find ourselves investing in things that are not really helping us build our futures or take care of our own. We all love to watch as much Breaking Bad as possible, and we all love sticking around for an extra cocktail or two. But the important thing is always to have a clear direction and make sure nothing gets in the way of our plans. Have that extra drink, but make sure you are at your desk killing it the next morning, or tending to whatever else needs tending.

The above mentioned are just a few qualities that society may agree with. Nodding that yes every man needs to be this way. We can’t always put things in boxes. My questions remain;

“What are the qualities of a real man?” “What is ‘real’ to you?”