10 Things that will let you know you’re with the wrong partner

When you start out in a relationship you never really sure about what you’re putting yourself into but you basically always sure about the kind of partner you want to be to the other person. You look forward to getting the same from your partner and building something different to what you have already had. You avoid making the same mistakes and crossing the same bridges. There’s sometimes a point where you question if you’re with the right person or not and if this is really the kind of the relationship you need, when that point comes here are a few signs you should look out for to let you know that you’re with the wrong partner:

1. Inconsiderate towards your feelings:
Your partner should always be there to make you feel better or accommodate the “mood” you’re in. If things are always about them and when they’re down we must also be down then you have yourself an inconsiderate partner. Yes, we understand that they’re having a bad day but they shouldn’t want your mood to be dampened as well. They should talk to you and let you work through the problem with them, have a balanced and considerate affiliation.

2. Available for you only when they need you:
Dates and seeing eachother on a regular basis plays a very important role in relationships. You don’t want to have a ghost partner, they’re always around when they want to be but when you call them out they never pop up. Your partner shouldn’t have a timetable to see you, they should make themselves available to you by all means possible. If it’s important to see you they’ll make a plan, if not they give you excuses then get angry when you don’t make the time for them.

3. You’re never good enough:
Your partner constantly complains about you, your appearance, the way you do things, the things you don’t do, they just can’t let you be human. You’re basically never allowed to make any mistakes. They always pull you down instead of pushing you to being a greater person in your relationship and in other encounters in  your life. No one needs to hear how much they suck almost all the time they’re around you. If you have a partner that’s forever putting you down instead of encouraging you on a day to day basis, you my friend are being emotionally abused.

4. Never say thank you:
I think we were all taught to say thank you by our parents when we were younger but, some people still need to do some growing up and learn how to appreciate other people. Being ungrateful is not a good trait to have, a good partner sticks around when they feel like the things they have done for you are appreciated, it makes them feel wanted too. If they don’t say thank you they don’t appreciate you and most certainly don’t deserve you.

5.Don’t make the same efforts:
Truth be told almost all the time in life you get out what you put in. When you give a task or project 100% effort the results that you reap will be just as great. If you’re making a greater effort than what your partner is it leads to feeling unappreciated and you basically growing alone in the relationship. Putting in 80% while they’re sitting on 25% means that the relationship is more important to you than it is to them, they don’t have the time for you.

6. They’re never wrong:
If you and your partner are forever fighting but somehow you always end up being the one apologising for the fight in the end, that’s not the right way to go about the relationship. A good relationship is one where you can communicate eachother’s mistakes and the other acknowledges that they were wrong, apologies and works on fixing the mistake accordingly.If your partner can’t acknowledge their mistakes and apologise for them it just simply says that they’re childish.

7. The silent partner:
If hes really that into to he wouldn’t go silent on you. Communication is very important in a relationship that’s the only way you get to learn more about eachother and grow together in the relationship. If you have a silent partner that keeps disappearing on you then comes back with no excuses or apologies and pretends like nothing is wrong then, you’re not with the right person. If they’re busy and will be away for a while they should inform you so you don’t look like the idiot that’s forever waiting on the winner who’s living their life like its golden.

8. Wam bam thank you ma’am guy:
A partner that’s only there for the sexual encounter and prefers that you leave right after the fun, is not a partner to keep. You’re being used for sex and the emotional bond or cuddling after sex talk does not exist, you’ve basically moved from being romantically involved to working around a sex timetable. Find a partner that will give you the time you need to communicate about your intimacy and where you are as partners when it comes to being intimate. Wam bam thank you ma’am should never be good enough!

9. Forever needs cash from you:
You forever take car of the bill when out, they always need money from you or always have a long story to indirectly ask you for cash. You’re not in a relationship you’ve just been turned into a bank. You can ask eachother for things yes but when you’re always the provider and never being provided for then there’s an imbalance in your relationship, you’re being used for financial gain.

10. Manipulators:
The partner that will make you feel like things are working in favour of the both of you whereas in actual fact it’s only going to benefit them in the end. Your partner should never manipulate you into doing things or make you feel guilty about not being able to do certain  things. There should be a balanced level of understanding between the two of you, if you can’t pull through for your partner then they should understand and make an alternative plan.

A great relationship is built around compromise. If you’re not willing to work together to have a great relationship then nothing will ever work out for you and your partner.

Mbali Ntuli